


Sapphires

by onekingdomonce



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Gen, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Post-Kings Rising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekingdomonce/pseuds/onekingdomonce
Summary: Laurent is struck by a memory of Nicaise, causing many emotions to surface.Captive Prince Week 2017Sapphires/“I made your pet jump.”





	Sapphires

“His Highness is inside.”

Damen nodded at the guards absently, walking in between them with a dismissive glance as he pushed the two doors open, stepping into his and Laurent’s chambers.

The doors shut behind him, the impact being the only audible sound apart from the soft sounds of Damen’s footsteps as he walked the large room slowly. Damen looked around and took everything in: the colorful tapestries, streaming down the walls and sweeping against the marble floor. The scattered books pilled on different surfaces, Damen’s favored sword by a stack on the low table. He walked passed the lounging couch and skimmed his fingers along the discarded jacket and chiton, casting his eyes across the pitcher of wine and platter of unfinished sweetmeats. 

Laurent was not in the main chamber. Damen swept the room with one final glance before making his way through the alcove and into their bedchambers. 

The sun had long set, and it took Damen a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room. Seconds passed before he could catch small glimpses, and after a few more he was able to clearly see the lone, slouched figure on their bed, cast in shadows. 

They had been in the great hall, seated at the head of the table as the occupants of the palace at Delpha dined together. There was a boisterous atmosphere, toasts and requests for songs being called out among the animated chatter in the large room. Damen’s attention had been caught on two small children arranging the olives on their plates in a certain design, his heart warm at the sight of such unadulterated innocence. It was only when he felt a movement at his side that he turned his head to see Laurent pushing back from the table.

Damen had frowned slightly and reached forward for him, but Laurent had only smiled and squeezed Damen’s shoulder before turning away, making for the exit without any further explanation. 

Damen had not hesitated to push back himself, but he had only made it two steps away from the table before a noble from Arran had approached him. Damen had tried to keep the conversation short, but he knew it was in his best interest as he and Laurent sought to stabilize their kingdoms in the midst of the unification to give all Veretion nobility his undivided attention. Damen had gone as long as he would allow given that Laurent had broken away from him unexplained before politely extracting himself from the conversation and making his way for the exit. 

Damen had checked the stables first, knowing that Laurent found comfort in horses in a way that he personally did not understand but adored nonetheless. When he entered and was met with silence he tried the library, newly stocked with books in both Akielon and Veretion. When neither served helpful, he made straight for their rooms. 

Damen stepped forward now, quietly, not wanting to jar Laurent or jolt him out of his revere. He was seated at the edge of their bed, still tightly laced in his clothing. Laurent’s head was dipped forward, his hair falling around him, sweeping against his cheeks. His hair was growing quickly, longer now than it had been before they had moved into their new palace on the border, long enough now to mask his face from Damen. 

Both of Laurent’s hands were clasped together between his knees. Although Damen could not see what he was holding between them, his fingers were clutched around it tight, his knuckles almost white. His eyes did not leave his tight grip.

Damen sat down beside him, feeling the mattress dip beneath him as it took his weight. Laurent remained where he was, not speaking or changing the direction of his gaze, but he eventually leaned his body to the side, allowing his head to rest on Damen’s shoulder. Damen felt his heart swell as he turned his head slightly, just enough to press a kiss to Laurent’s hair before leaning his own head on Laurent’s. 

They sat like this in silence for a few moments, simply taking comfort in each other. This was not uncommon for them. They could speak for hours about endless things, and there were things that they only told each other, would only ever tell each other. However, they each would occasionally have their own moments where something took them, a memory or a feeling, and all they could do was sit and stew in their thoughts. When that happened the other was there for them every time, offering nothing but a touch and a presence, and the silent reassurance that they would always be there. 

Like all those other times, Damen simply sat with Laurent and let him soak up the heat from Damen’s body, Laurent’s own warmth an equal comfort to him, in all ways. He said nothing as he lightly covered Laurent’s hands with his own, his much larger one covering both of Laurent’s. He didn’t probe, or pry. Just left his hand there, not in expectance, but in offering. 

Laurent did nothing for a while, his grip almost tightening on it’s contents before Damen felt a slight twitch, and then his hands were opening beneath Damen’s, revealing it’s contents to him. Damen saw a glisten in the dark room, a cluster of deep blue, darker than that of Laurent’s eyes, and it only took him a moment before he understood. 

Sapphires. 

Damen felt his chest clench as he inhaled slowly, his fingers linking with Laurent’s instinctively. Laurent was silent as his own fingers tightened, his face turning slowly, his eyes now on Damen’s. 

Damen remembered a time similar to this one, where he had entered a room to find Laurent alone, too deep in his mind in that moment to properly acknowledge external factors, this same bundle of sapphires clutched tight in his hand. Unlike then, Laurent was not lashing out or trying to goad Damen into anger. Now he was silent, locked up, looking up at Damen with a sort of hopeless innocence that made Damen ache. 

There was nothing Damen wouldn’t do for Laurent. He had given him himself, his trust, his entire kingdom. Damen would stop at nothing to give Laurent the entire world, but in this situation Damen was helpless, for he could not give him Nicaise. 

Words being inadequate in that moment and not wanting to pretend otherwise, Damen raised his hands to the collar of Laurent’s jacket, his fingers skimming the laces. “May I?” he asked.

Laurent eyed Damen questioningly, but he nodded his head nonetheless. Damen set to work immediately, unlooping the laces through their eyelets quickly, an ease that only came from the wonderful practice of undressing Laurent every night. He reached the bottom and pushed the jacket off, setting it on the chair by the bed before crouching down on the ground, pulling off each of Laurent’s boots.

He rose from the floor when he was done, only to lower himself back on the bed. Laurent raised his hands slowly, unsurely, but Damen took them and returned them to the mattress between them. He had no implications with his actions. He only wanted Laurent to be comfortable. 

They sat like that, their fingers brushing, their eyes on each other. Damen was unsure what to say. He knew there was no logic in apologizing for something he could not reverse, especially if it was something he had not played a hand in. He simply pushed a lock of hair behind his ear and allowed the moment to be what Laurent made it.

Laurent reached for Damen’s hand before he managed to pull away, holding it by his face, his palm now cupping Laurent’s cheek. Damen watched as he exhaled slowly, his eyes falling shut as he lowered Damen’s hand to his lap.

“I miss him.”

It was said quietly, only a murmur that would have been carried away by a breeze, had they been outside. Damen felt it wrap around his heart and clench tightly nonetheless.

“I know,” he whispered.

Laurent’s eyes were cast down, his gaze following his thumb that was tracing Damen’s skin, around his knuckles, the veins running along the back of his hand. “I can’t,“ he started, shaking his head as his thumb stopped moving, just bellow Damen’s ring finger. “I can’t shake this feeling that I-“ He stopped again.

Damen knew it best that he not directly comment on what Laurent was implying. He knew that Laurent placed some blame from Nicaise’s death on his shoulders, as untrue as that was. Laurent loved Nicaise. Damen had not spend much time with the boy, but it was very likely that Laurent was the only person who loved Nicaise, and Nicaise had loved him back. There was an odd, almost layered relationship between the two, one that Damen could never even begin to grasp. However, despite the incongruity of their relationship, every one of their interactions that Damen had witnessed during his time in Arles only solidified the notion in his mind that there was some connection between those two that most people were not seeing.

Laurent had been fighting for Nicaise, in a way that no one else had. In a way that no one else had fought for _him,_ when he had needed it. Damen understood that now more than ever. Now that he knew Laurent, knew who he really was, and the depth of love and compassion that was innate in him. Unfortunately, it had not been enough, because Nicaise was simply up against things that were too big for him, and not even Laurent could save him.

Damen turned his hand over, watching as Laurent began to trace the lines on his pam. It was something he often did when he was working through the muddled thoughts in his mind.

“Did something happen to spur this on?” Damen asked softly.

Laurent’s hand stilled, and he let out a slow breath as he looked back at Damen. “Not exactly,” he said, and he sounded almost reluctant. “It’s- silly. The servants were laying out the platters of desserts, and I saw something that reminded me of him.” He looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers as he spoke. “I had walked into the banquet hall one morning and saw him eating a chocolate pastry, almost self consciously. He kept looking around and licking his fingers off like he didn’t want anyone to notice the cream on his skin.”

“I sat down across from him and told him the chocolate one was my favorite as well,” Laurent continued. “He said nothing at first, then spit it out in front of me and walked away, still holding the rest of the pastry.” Laurent smiled at the memory, and Damen couldn’t help but smile back at the friendship that he would never understand. 

Damen let the moment stretch out, let Laurent revel in his memories before he took Laurent’s hand back in his. “He cared for you as well.” _This one pleaded for you._ “Until the end.”

Laurent’s brows drew together, causing a series of soft lines to appear on his forehead. He looked at Damen skeptically. “You didn’t really know him.” 

“No,” Damen agreed. ”But I saw the way he interacted with you. The ease with which he spoke with you, in a way that he didn’t with others. I don’t think he would have felt comfortable doing so, had he not felt connected to you.”

Laurent lifted his shoulders once. “That was simply him.”

“Maybe,” Damen said. “But he played your games, and played them back. He joked with you. He trusted you, in his own secretive way.”

“Yes,” Laurent agreed. “And that trust resulted with his head in a sack.”

“That wasn’t you,” Damen said. “You know that, and Nicaise knew that. You said it yourself, he was smarter than the others.”

Laurent held Damen’s eyes as he blinked, pressing his lips together. Damen ran his thumb along Laurent’s wrist, and Laurent’s shoulders lowered.

“He deserved better.”

 _So did you_ , Damen almost said, but didn’t. It was true that Laurent had lost more in his life than he deserved, but he had so much now. A legacy. A kingdom. Damen’s heart.

“He did,” Damen said instead, because it was true. Nicaise deserved far better than the hand he had been dealt.

Laurent eyed Damen, an almost amused glint in his eyes now as he spoke. “You were not particularly close.”

Damen’s lip curved. That was an understatement.

“Close enough for him to stab me with his fork.”

Laurent laughed at that, a small, unselfconscious sound that made Damen feel light. “That was funny.”

Despite the context of the conversation, Damen could feel his own growing smile. “I’m glad you think so.”

Laurent smiled up at him, but it turned sad after a moment as his eyes drifted aimlessly across the room. He looked down at the earing in his hand, toying with the gems, rubbing them between his fingers reverently. He held it up by the needle, watching as the sapphires swung rhythmically

“I went to his rooms,” Laurent mumbled. “When I returned to Arles. I looked through everything, but I couldn’t find the match to this earing. I don’t know what he did with it.” He sighed.

“He had nothing. No books, or toys, or anything in which he could express himself.” He closed his hand back around the earing, speaking in a harder tone. “Nothing.”

Damen closed his eyes briefly, clearing the turmoil in his mind before forcing them open. He laid a hand on Laurent’s shoulder, waiting for him to turn. 

“You told me,” Damen started. “At Karthas, that Nicaise didn’t have a choice. He was rendered powerless, and nothing could have changed that. Not his doing, and not yours.” Damen tightened his hold, the bone in Laurent’s shoulder feeling more fragile in his thin white shirt. “You are not to blame.”

It took a few seconds of drawn out silence before Laurent’s eyes met Damen’s. Before his hand covered Damen’s. 

“I want to do something for him,” Laurent said, his tone irrefutable. There was a new fire in his voice. “I don’t want Nicaise to be forgotten.”

Damen smiled, once again awed by the man before him. 

“Then we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> [ @laurent-ofvere](http://laurent-ofvere.tumblr.com)   
> 


End file.
